Eleven Six
by Scrunchy
Summary: Scout gets Sniper curious and the Australian goes to ask Medic a question. Possible OOCness, but garunteed to make persons of a certain level of immaturity laugh.
1. OOC

**Dedicated to the best teacher evar: Mrs. M. She moved over to America when she was a really young girl from Germany and decided to teach our class some German one day. This is what i walked away from the lesson with:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TF2 or German, it's better that way, I promise.**

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"Hey! Sniper! Dude... okay..." Scout paused to catch his breath, having raced to the bridge and triple jumped up to Sniper's roost without pause. "Man..."  
"Well, get on with it, kid." Sniper snapped. The boy had interrupted his smoke break and the smoke silently curled from his frown as he attempted to enjoy his fix.  
"A... ask Medic what eleven six is in German, man!" Scout finally gasped out, his grey eyes as bright and wild as a yearling colt.  
"... alright...?" Sniper agreed, taking another slow drag from his cig before grinding the stub out and breathing out. "S'long as ya don't bother me ag'in." He stated, watching the boy as he slung his rifle across his back. Scout's head bobbed up and down a few times before he leapt down and sprinted off to his next destination.  
Sniper watched him go before turning to make his own way out through the door and toward the infirmary. If Scout was _that_ excited, then this _had_ to be good. He moved through the halls before finally arriving at the infirmary.  
"Sniper? Are you injured?" The German asked, making his way over to the lanky Australian from his examination of a nasty shotgun wound to Heavy's posterior.  
"Naw, you c'n finish with Heavy first if y'like, Doc." Sniper stated, waving the doctor off as he removed his hat and ran a hand through his slightly damp hair. The air conditioning of the cool infirmary felt good and he relaxed, his roost not having the luxury since the window was always open and it would be a waste of money and energy.  
"Very well, zen." Medic mover back over to Heavy and continued his removal of the small lead pellets from the man's buttocks. A few minutes later, the Medic raised his gun and pulled the lever back, watching the wound close with his usual fascination before taping his friend on the rump and giving him a soft order to bring him a plate of dinner.  
"Da, Doktor." Heavy nodded, pulling his pants and boxers back up and moving toward the door. Small holes coated the back of his pants and Sniper shook his head at the sight.  
"Vhat is it you vant, Herr Sniper?" Medic asked as he cleaned up his station. "You look healthy." He commented, giving the Australian a once over from across the room.  
"Uh... Scout told me to come ask you somethin'..." Sniper said, wondering if the Medic knew already what he was supposed to ask. The German raised a curious brow and crossed his arms.  
"And vhat vould zhat be?" He asked, leaning back against the counter and giving the Sniper his full attention.  
"How do you say 'eleven six' in German?" He asked, doubting immediately if he got the question right or not.  
"Elf sex?" Medic asked, raising a brow at the seemingly random question.  
Sniper immediately snorted, stumbling out of the Infirmary amid a rather loud and soon to be lengthy episode of chuckling. Medic watched him go, confused and altogether curious at the Sniper's actions. He repeated the phrase again and made a mental note to look up any possible spelling for 'Elf' in his English-German dictionary as he went back to cleaning up his spot from Heavy's operation.


	2. IC

**Now with a more IC ending (thanks to: SchwaWarrior!) and 50% better phonetic'd German! (thanks to the lovely actual-German-speaking commenters on the chan).**

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"Hey! Sniper! Dude... okay..." Scout paused to catch his breath, having raced to the bridge and triple jumped up to Sniper's roost without pause. "Man..."

"Well, get on with it, kid." Sniper snapped. The boy had interrupted his smoke break and the smoke silently curled from his frown as he attempted to enjoy his fix.

"A... ask Medic what 'eleven six' is in German, man!" Scout finally gasped out, his grey eyes as bright and wild as a yearling colt.

"... alright...?" Sniper agreed, taking another slow drag from his cig before grinding the stub out and breathing out. "S'long as ya don't bother me ag'in." He stated, watching the boy as he slung his rifle across his back. Scout's head bobbed up and down a few times before he leapt down and sprinted off to his next destination.

Sniper watched him go before turning to make his own way out through the door and toward the infirmary. If Scout was _that_ excited, then this _had_ to be good. He moved through the halls before finally arriving at the infirmary.

"Sniper? Are you injured?" The German asked, making his way over to the lanky Australian from his examination of a nasty shotgun wound to Heavy's posterior.

"Naw, you c'n finish with Heavy first if y'like, Doc." Sniper stated, waving the doctor off as he removed his hat and ran a hand through his slightly damp hair. The air conditioning of the cool infirmary felt good and he relaxed, his roost not having the luxury since the window was always open and it would be a waste of money and energy.

"Very well, zen." Medic moved back over to Heavy and continued his removal of the small lead pellets from the man's buttocks. A few minutes later, the Medic raised his gun and pulled the lever back, watching the wound close with his usual fascination before taping his friend on the rump and giving him a soft order to bring him a plate of dinner.

"Da, Doktor." Heavy nodded, pulling his pants and boxers back up and moving toward the door. Small holes coated the back of his pants and Sniper shook his head at the sight.

"Vhat is it you vant, Herr Sniper?" Medic asked as he cleaned up his station. "You look healthy." He commented, giving the Australian a once over from across the room.

"Uh... Scout told me to come ask you somethin'..." Sniper said, wondering if the Medic knew already what he was supposed to ask. The German raised a curious brow and crossed his arms.

"And vhat vould zhat be?" He asked, leaning back against the counter and giving the Sniper his full attention.

"How do you say 'eleven six' in German?" He asked, doubting immediately if he got the question right or not.

"Elf zex?" Medic asked, raising a brow at the seemingly random question. Sniper simply gave the doctor a long, hard stare to the point that Medic felt he had misinterpreted what the lanky Australian wanted. He was about to ask Sniper to repeat the question when Sniper sighed heavily and face-palmed as his turned on his heel and marched out of the infirmary.

"SCOUT!" He called rather loudly, the doors leading into the infirmary swinging a few times before settling to a close.

Medic stared after the Sniper with a furrowed brow before repeating the phrase again. With a small frown, the doctor made a mental note to look up any possible spelling for 'Elf' in his English-German dictionary as he went back to cleaning up his spot from Heavy's operation.


End file.
